Another weekend draws to an end and I'm just so tired. What happened to being able to rest and recharge over a weekend? Or am I the only one feeling like this at the moment?
Maybe it's just because I have so much whirling round in my head at the moment?
I'm sat here listening to some old songs and it's amazing how certain songs take you back or how they make you feel.... I've been having a weird week. Just been feeling a bit bleurgh about myself this week.... you know those types of weeks when you're just feeling not great about yourself? I know I'm never going to be the prettiest/skinniest/sexiest/funniest/smartest of people but this week has been particularly bad. And i know i have to be careful as i know where this leads for me.... and that's not the best thing for me at all.... it's not good, it's not healthy! Why is it blokes just look for the things I'm not?
At the moment I am just feeling like I have a piece of me missing! A piece of the jigsaw isn't there and I'm not sure what piece it is quite. I have some ideas but don't know what the overall picture should be so not certain!
I do know I need to keep my head screwed on as otherwise I'll regret saying something I should have kept to myself. Honesty is always good, but I can be brutal about it sometimes and people don't always like hearing the truth as you see it!
Mind you there are some people I wish I could be honest with and tell them a few home truths, although the consequences are too big at the moment and i need to reduce these before i really let rip lol!
I got told today what I should be making my priority at the moment.... and I can't believe the bare faced cheek of it! I just get so annoyed and not sure if it is stupidity or ignorance? Neither one is an excuse though! I know what my priority is... and always has been, I've sacrificed more than he will ever know or understand.
Been trying to get a few things sorted and organised this week. Trying to do the boring stuff to get all the stuff together for when I go to the bank to talk about mortgages and money, getting ready to argue with the tax man as he wants to take more money off me than he should, car insurance, Munch's eye test.... all the grown up stuff.
The bloke came round this weekend to help try and sort out some of the destruction in the garden. We had a bit of an issue with replacing the fence panel as it's a bit harder to do than first thought, but he did put the felt back on my bike-shed roof.
I really do appreciate the fact that he has no reason to have to help but he still does. I do feel bad having to ask for help, but how much am I supposed to do myself? Everyone needs a hand sometimes and if I am honest this sort of stuff I struggle with....I'm not tall enough or strong enough to do it sometimes, and even when I do I pay for it as I end up in agony for days after!
Guess I should try and get some sleep!
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