chit chat

OMG sometime I am blonder than even I realise! 
Was talking to The King today and was looking for my phone while I was talking to him on it.... d'oh! Wouldn't have minded so much but had Betsy here at the time and she knew what I had done! Talk about feeling like an idiot!!


Has been a good night as we made fajitas and just been chit chatting, mainly about peeps at work and the like.... looked at her pics of Dubai (not jealous at all ahem!)


See how this week pans out I guess. The King has been in wales today, there is a leaving do this week, and then I have two lunch things this week with the rack 'em and stack 'em lot..... so i guess there are bits to keep me busy?


In all the chit chat I guess I just wish that people would realise I am not as easy target as they assume.... and I am not the complete mug that they may take me for!


Don't get me wrong I am of the age now, that as much as I hate having to be a grown up, circumstances mean i can't escape some of it...I'd love to be free and easy sometimes (and trust me the offer for being easy if I want it has been there several times with several random people from the past, but that's not what i am about) but I think i am at the stage now where boasting about how many people you have slept with and how many randoms you have hooked up with, has passed..... actually I don't think I have ever fully taken part in this and to be honest I don't feel I have missed out like many people often do. Anyway I think this type of boast is mainly a male trait, although for most of them really it is just that.... a boast. Not the truth lol!


I guess there are plenty of people that go for the younger model as they are the ones who are more likely to be in awe of the bloke, and less likely to point out their bullshit and have their own back bone, which blokes don't seem to like..... and by that rule I guess I'm screwed unless I go for a 40+ guy??????


Hell, lets face it.... I was dumped for a younger model! Cliched? yes, but true...... And I know this has happened for definite once, maybe more...going by past history dealing with someone of their own age was an issue.... lets face it blokes don't like it if they aren't held in awe, the kind that comes from having someone younger and less life experienced  there?


It seems having someone who actually understands and respects them doesn't seem to count much with the male species these days.
Plus the fact I am just not the 'hot' type..... I show the scars of having a real life.... emotional and physical ones.... I know I'm not about to have someone stop in the street and say 'damn'  at me.... but I also accept that, just would be nice to  sometimes feel only partially that special to someone.... thought I might have found that..... but then guess it was shown not to be and i feel like the idiot then?


So as much as I wish I wasn't here I'm back to square one again.... or maybe 1.5? Or even 2 by now with some?
Not by choice, but by default..... I'm not closing the door on what could be, but I am not waiting around either.... I know what I wish would happen, and that's probably not a secret, but I can't influence any of that..... there is a case where people have to go backwards first to go forward, and see what could have been..... by the time they get there, the chance may have past? But they are the ones taking the risk, maybe it's the right one? or maybe it's the fact people always think there are things they should have done, but honestly most the time all they have done is missed out on the crappy bits if most people are honest.....maybe what they want has been in front of them, but they just didn't (or can't) allow themselves to go there for whatever reason they have due to something from their past?
Anyway as the saying goes there's nowt more stranger than folk????? shame most people bend to convention... Me included!!!