Chapter and verse

Shattered.
I guess i've lost, I'm broken... no hope
Alone and un-important


I was never enough and could never compete with that... not when i was never given the chance to in the first place....

It hurts to know that he doesn't miss me one bit, or how unimportant my existence in his life seems to have been. He seems to be happy to be a footnote in someone else's story rather than be the main event in his own... And I don't think he even realizes...
He could have had his own epic story, having the same kind of thing that his friends do, a sense of inner calm and strength if he'd had just opened himself up to it, and I think this is what he wants.... But seeing that he almost did have it, I don't think he does know, because of some notion of hollywood effect where the pounding heart, butterflies in the stomach exists forever, rather than becoming something deeper (I mean if the Hollywood effect did last we'd all be dying of heart attacks in the end!)

Having some good times away doesnt mean that makes for the perfect day to day existence, but at the same time having your own story also doesn't mean that he has to get rid of people out of his life. Having one doesn't replace the other, there isn't a limit on space for the good stuff in your life.

I don't think he knows how many people do care about him and want him to have his own wonderful story rather than living in the shadow of others... And it's scary to do that but it's so worth it!!

But it's all fooked! And I'm a twat as I'm the one having trouble forgetting the good times we had, and how even tho none of this has been easy I haven't run away from the hard stuff, and never would leaving him alone, but that means nothing to some people I guess?