I hate this part.... trying to get past something, but not as you can't quite believe that what you are getting over is bad in the first place... that is someone else's perspective on it!
Guess at the moment i have gone back to old habits.
It has started this weekend and if it all pans out it means that i will have had a few different opportunities (if that's what you want to call them) this week, but not sure if my heart is in it yet? I just keep thinking about what i don't have and maybe that means i'm not ready for this?
I'm sure that in some twisted way that this is an ego boost for him, having me feel this way, just like i think that the fact that his previous ex texting him to do stuff for her when we was together, and having him do stuff was an ego boost for her..... i don't want to be that to him but at the moment i can't help it either!
I wish someone had wrote a rule book on how all this should work... do i play the numbers game and hope that one sticks? Or do i not bother with any of it at the moment?
I am trying to move on but in some ways i don't want to as that means i have to give up on what i had and all the hopes that went with it.... and that is so much wider than you might think, as it also means giving up on certain hopes and dreams that i am not prepared to open up with someone else now, as its too painful and honestly it feels like it's too late....
Guess i just have to see how the coffee goes over the next few days?
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