Had a good night out with work peep, nice food, lots of laughs and it's different as it was the project team I was out with rather than just the usual few.... variety is good!!
Shame it has been tarnished by the fact that my blood is actually boiling at the moment.... you ever get that angry you actually feel your insides twist up and you feel physically sick? That's how the email I got off knob head this evening has made me feel!!!!
As much as I get annoyed its very rare for me to get this worked up over something but this has really pushed my button. I showed the email to Betsy as I wanted to get another opinion, as I am aware I may have been reading it in a completely wrong way, but in her words 'he is a complete douche bag that doesn't deserve what he has'.
I know people say there is a fine line between hate and love as they are the opposite sides of the same feeling.... but I can honestly say I do actually hate him these days!
I used the think that at one point in time I had loved him, but looking back at what we had I don't think I ever really loved him, not truly, as what I felt for him was nothing in comparison to what I have felt since him.
I don't really regret being with him as I have the munch from it, but I do regret wasting so much time on him when I knew I shouldn't have, and should have left the first time I tried.... and I hate the fact that he still gets opportunity to wind me up like he has tonight. I don't even think that all of this is necessarily done intentionally now, it's just his own sheer stupidity and ignorance that astound me (and others!)
Think I am floating between anger and sickness!!!!!!
It makes me miss those people that I care about, and I know care bout me even more.....
Trust... one word, so hard to do once you've been burnt by it being broken before.
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