more than people know!

Is it just me or is everyone else getting fed up with all the valentines lovey dovey crap around at the moment? 
Don't get me wrong, a romantic gesture and all that is great.... even if it is on a day that is there more as a commercial thing now rather than anything more deep and meaningful, but even when I was not single on valentines day I always found it too much, guess this year it just has more of a sting!


I think it's just that its difficult.... that's all. 


I know people always under estimate how much I actually know and understand about what is going on in their lives..... It's easy to forget that I spent 3 years learning how to find things out, yet alone the fact that intuition is a great thing, as is the fact that I do know how to listen to people, not just what they say, but what they don't say and how they say it! 


I've always tried to concentrate on what I do have rather than not, although the past few months I do know I have missed what I once had but don't anymore, more than I ever thought I would or wanted to, but I am only human and can't help that.... I might come across as stupid but really I'm not! I know that all of this is out of my control, and that changing that is beyond my influence, but so many people concentrate on what they think is missing rather than what is actually there in front of them in the first place, they will miss out on what they really want out of life as they are so busy looking for something that never exists unless you live in a fairy story or hollywood!


Guess I can't help it that I'm not a 20 year old willing to string someone on?


All I want is something with substance and a future...... I know perfection doesn't exist, but if you are lucky enough to find someone who knows you so that they don't listen to the words you say but the meaning behind the ones you don't, that you don't have to fill in the silences as they are comfortable as the hugs and touches you get, that you find someone who can make you laugh and you have fun with, and well as be there when things aren't as easy..... then that is the one you shouldn't want to let go!


There are so many frogs in the pond..... I know I have a few lily pad options although if I am honest none of them quite measure up yet, whether that is me just having extra walls up, or the fact that they need to show me they are that much better than what I currently want I don't know.... each time I go through this I have another layer go on, so that unfortunately next time there is more to break through..... who knows? Maybe I've already met my prince and just need him to realise, or maybe not..... maybe i'm destined to only have frogs forever as it often seems like only the bitches and bad people find happiness!


"The worst thing about distance is that you don't know if you'll be missed or forgotten"