Green eyes

No matter how hard we try, there are parts of ourselves that we can hide, we can deny.... but we can't get rid of as it is ingrained into us!


I'm a little nutty at times, am over emotional and as much as I try to be i have a jealous streak!
I have no rights to get jealous over some of the stuff, it's nothing to do with me I know that but I just can't help some of it....


I'm jealous that I was never good enough, because I know even now that there was someone who always played a bigger part than me in what was and still has been going on, and the fact that i will never be missed like she is..... Nor am I someone who is constantly there to string someone along..... I'm not the one that people look forward to getting a text off, that will get a reply texted back straight away, or get the random text at times that lets you know that someone has actually thought about you.


I guess I'm also just sad that for one person to find what they need I have to lose one of the few people who understand me the most. It's easy to say I' not losing them, that they are only a phone call away but the worst thing about distance is that you don't know if you'll be missed or forgotten, and i just think I will be forgotten..... why would they miss me then, when they don't already?


I have no-one around to get jealous of what I am doing, as no-one cares that much. 
Jealousy and that, may not be a great trait, and too much of it can cause problems, but a little of it at least shows you that someone cares just a little to even get bothered by what you do?