hump of the week

It's turning into an interesting week... and with me pissing off a few people i think!


Think i may have a talking to by my manager tomorrow as i have been rather blunt with him today, but when i am doing shit loads and bearing a lot of pressure and responsibility, and there are problems which add to this, things that he should help monitor and mitigate, yet he makes a joke of it, it vex's me no end, and i'm not in the mood or have the time to pussy foot around!!


And as always there is the ever annoying ex.... Contacted the CSA over the weekend and they called me back, so gave them all the usual details, the payment we have agreed and such, and dropped him a note to let him know i had done this. 
All this is to help me declare the maintenance payments so i can have them taken into account when any affordability calcs are done, so for both our sakes i can get him off the mortgage asap.... but i get the third degree off him as he doesn't 'understand' why i had to do this blah blah blah.....


Some of what he has been coming out with just goes to show his total lack of understanding of how any of these processes work, but i think his main issue is, once this is in place i will actually have something court ordered that if he misses i have behind me proper routes now in which to pursue him for payment, and as he is still 8 months behind in payments going forward he can't fob me off any longer....
I have been pushed to my limit and have been more than accomodating in the past.... but seriously no more!! I will do what i have to to make sure my child has a relationship with his dad and unless circumstances dictate it i will not block this, but don't ever take me for a mug!!


I just don't get how people still stay friends with their ex's after my experience.... how they can be 'just friends' when once upon a time there were feelings between them and they got hurt so badly by the one person that they should have been able to trust to NOT hurt them. I understand being civil and sociable with them... no point in causing arguments for no reason, but can you truly move on if you always have part of you stuck with your past? 


I know i sometimes feel like some part of me can't move on properly yet as i am still stuck dealing with the fallout of my past, and i hate the fact that he can f*** with my life if and when he chooses.... and there is one part i will never escape but as the munchkin grows older all i have to do is say hello to his dad at his graduation/wedding ect.... It frustrates me to be in this position as it sometimes creeps into my current world and i don't want to dampen what i have now with all this. The bloke must feel awkward and it can't be easy to have my past always so present..... i know i find it difficult the other way round with some of the stuff that goes on.


Oh well shit happens and what doesn't break you only makes you stronger.... i guess i just need to bring the inner bitch out a little more and show people that they can't just push me around like they assume they can at the moment!!


Night y'all sweet dreams x