Been suffering a bit today after a night on the vino last night with the neighbour lol! We had a good giggle together but i didn't quite realise how much we'd managed to drink until i stood up.... don't remember going to bed, found the phone in the washing basket this morning and i've somehow hurt my hip/leg/bum!
Guess it's all practice as I'm on the count down now to my birthday. Today was my last Thursday of being 32 today.... and it's all a bit weird to be honest.
Normally this is the time of year when i start getting that little feeling of excitement and anticipation as my birthday is coming up, followed by christmas... but it's all a bit of an anti-climax this year, as it just doesn't feel like i have anything to look forward to really, i don't get to spend this time with the people i want to :0(
So yes, xmas is just one day but it is still getting to me, my birthday is just one day but i am going to end up being in by myself on it once munch has gone to bed.... generally i have done all the hard work, the giving, the putting myself second yet someone else gets to play happy families with my son (and yes i do actually realise it's also his son but he is selfish and his saying has always been look after number 1, even over his own child).
It's always the little things that affect me the most, always has been, which is why i guess i must come across as completely nutty sometimes.
The little things can just be subtle differences and often people don't get that, many have a habit of seeing things in black and white, and not the shades of grey. It is, or it isn't... you do or you don't.... you should or you shouldn't?!?
No-one has all the answers but people assume they know me more than they ever do or will!
Maybe that's why i'm alone? I'm just a nutcase no-one wants? Too much baggage for someone to see past? All that happens is i get replaced by an easier version... someone younger who doesn't have as much of a past?
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