Definitions...

Ok here's one for you.... What is cheating to you? And I'm talking about the sort you do on another person, not the sort where you cheat on a test.

I'm aware the definition differs depending on who you talk to and what their previous experiences are.... Is cheating just sex with another person and anything else falls in a grey area? And if so does that have to be physical sex or does the stuff done on web cams also count?

To me it is sharing acts / pictures / conversations that should be saved for the one your with. I get flirting, that is pretty harmless, but where does it cross the line from something that is a little bit of fun to dangerous ground?

Now I know I have had some of my views tainted by my past where I found my ex had visited dogging sites, web sites for those looking to have affairs, threesomes and more escort sites than I care to think about.... This is when I felt cheated on, and that was before I found a prostitutes phone number in his pocket, or the fact that he had gone that step further and started a full blown affair with someone he met on a night out!! So yep I definitely have issues around some of the stuff out there

I get the fact that blokes look at nude women given a nano second of a chance, but when looking at the sort of stuff that is out there becomes something that is done rather than interacting with real life people, that is when personally I start feeling shut out...

And to be honest I am just hurt at the moment, as I've just seen what someone I thought cared about me has been saying to women on the web.... Seeing them say that they're sad this missed the sex cam and think they are hot, stings me to there core as it just brings back too many painful memories....

Maybe i'm more overly sensitive as they used to tell me they loved me, but now can't say the words to me anymore because they don't know if they do actually love me, makes me either think they lied to me to start with, or I've done something to make them change their mind?

I can't say any of this to them because I either just get upset, which isn't good as it just feels like emotional blackmail, and I don't want to talk about it in case it feels like I'm pressuring for something, but mainly I can't because I'm so scared I'm going to lose something important to me

Whichever way I turn at the moment I'm screwed! I'm just so cross with myself for letting my walls down to allow me to love someone new, and open myself to all this sort of stuff as well..... but i guess if you don't try it's only a life half  lived, and that is just a waste of your life.... i suppose you can argue that the greater the chance of happiness you also have the flip side of the greater the chance of pain too?

*sigh*