Aching feet

Another weekend over then. Oh well, three more weeks and I'll be heading off on holiday... so excited!

I can't wait for me and munch to go round seeing the sights in Washington. It'll be fun seeing some of the stuff you associate with the city for ourselves!

And, with all this snow around lately I've also gone and booked us a week in Morocco as well. All inclusive, lazing around by the pool in the sun and drinking cocktails (well I will, munch will have to stick to lemonade lol). Going with my friend and her daughter which will be good as the kids can play together and I'll have someone to chat to as well. 

Its hard to explain but as much as I love the munchkin, going on holiday just us two can be a bit draining and its not exactly relaxing. City breaks like Brussels last year, and Washington next month are fine, as to be honest, by the time he's off to bed I'm pretty much doing the same as we've knackered ourselves out! Beach/sun holidays where you just want to lie around, sunbathe and chillout.... not quite so!

Went out this weekend as munch was at his dad's.... you know when you're getting old though as your feet hurt from the dancing! Mind you I'm not sure they had fully recovered from Thursday night out. Being able to go out in the week is a rarity and one I gladly took up last week. 

I mean, it's not often we have post project parties at work these days, and a free bar. My head did regret it the next morning though! I don't do hangovers very often but I had a headache on Friday! I blame the bubbles in the champers (and maybe the jager bombs, and the vodka, and whatever else I ended up drinking....). Fair to say we all got a little bit drunk.... I even did the sterotypical oversleep on Friday - for some reason munch didn't wake up a normal time and I had turned my alarm off and gone back to sleep! Still made it to work on time thought.... haha trooper that I am ;0)

Not all this weekend went to plan though. Didn't end up seeing big D today as he ended up having his daughter, so hopefully he's going to meet me one lunchtime this week.

Going to try and head to bed at a reasonible hour today and hopefully not get woken up with a nightmare tomorrow, as I've had one for the past two days:0(

I hate having them.... I woke up Saturday morning wanting to give the douche bag a large peace of my mind as I was so pissed off with him.... then I remembered it was because of something I'd dreamt about so even for him, that might have been a bit unfair of me!!

I guess I have something on my mind trying to come out and its manifesting itself in my dreams? 

I know at the moment I am hugely disappointed in one or two people for how they are behaving. For some reason they have decided to cut me out their life, they haven't replied to me or acknowledged me (even though all I had sent was something that was FOR them).... and its just basically being rude as far as I am concerned. 
Good manners don't cost anything and if I'm honest I thought better of them?! 

Guess its like I have always said, people always let you down and so the only person you can truly trust is yourself. Some people may get close but given my history I'm never trusting someone completely, to do that will open myself up to getting disappointed by them and i'm not sure I can survive too many more of those 

Zappers

Well, time really does fly! Can't believe we are already half way through January!!

I've tried not to make stupid new years resolutions this year, ones that would be forgotten before the first week was out, instead I really am trying to make this year one of looking forward and basically looking out for me.

So, what have I done? 

I have decided that alcohol is something I should stick to in moderation, rather than where I had got to with it last year, as I think if you are saying to yourself that you are probably drinking more than you should then that is not a good place to be! Don't get me wrong, everyone needs a time when they can blow off steam, but all in moderation. So it is back to leaving the drink to non-school nights rather than after every bad day. 

Also I am trying to say sorry to my liver for the abuse it got through December so it is back to drinking hot water and lemon in the morning to flush out the system a little bit. Trying to cut down on the sugar, as work last month was a nightmare with cakes/sweets/biscuits always being around. Some of this is normal new year stuff but i'm not pushing it as a huge thing.

I have said to Munch that once it starts getting lighter then we will try to go running. I need to do something to get fitter but I can't afford a gym and find them so boring! In the meantime, I've brought Zumba on the Wii.... well might as well have a giggle while trying to move about?!

So that's all the stuff for the physical me. As for the other parts I've tried to change my mindset there too, and move away from people and situations that zap my energy!!

The last few months have been a bit of a roller coaster if I'm honest. Being tired because I've been working shit loads probably didn't help matters either or make me less emotional..... but i have made some decisions about some of those roller coaster humps. Such as those with Kingy, I've come to the decision that if he wants me in his life then he can put me there! If not then I'll just accept its too complicated as I can't keep doing this....?! 

And that goes for several things really, I am tired of being the one that always does the running (figuratively of course.... actual running i might start doing lol)! 

Some of these people have been in my life since I was at school, but if they don't make the effort to stay in touch then I am just too tired to always be the one that always does it. 

I guess the saying 'the trouble with distance is you don't know if you're gone or just forgotten' is true, and you find that when you move away from home like I did. 

Don't get me wrong, its not that I've fallen out with anyone, and if any of them reached out and contacted me I would certainly respond, its just the energy of the contact always being one sided.... Birthday cards, Christmas card and that's it for now I guess?!

I can't be the only person that have these people in their lives though. I am sure that if you think about there are people from your past that are guilty of the same thing. And if not then you might want to ask yourself if you are either just great at removing energy zappers, or if you are the person that everyone always has to chase?