This is getting beyond a joke now!
If I could stop I would but I cant! I'm working every hour I can and I can feel myself being worn down.... And the sad thing is I have no one around to give a shit!
Nice to know that people I was meant to mean something to once don't give a rats ass, it's like I never existed...
I don't know why I bother or why I carry on, it's obvious I could just disappear and they wouldn't even notice
Tuesday, 25 September 2012
Monday, 24 September 2012
Can't believe how long it's been since I last wrote on here!
The last time was just after I got back from holiday, and that was the end of last month. I think I've blinked and missed September....
I think a lot of it has to do with work. Its gone from horrendous to worse than shit! When you get dragged into a two hour meeting with the CIO and basically get your ass chewed out for things that was not your fault or beyond your control.... and then when you TRY to defend and reason about the position you're now in, you get told to either shut up or be removed from the account with immediate effect.... well then you know its been a bad month!
And that was just one of a few meetings like that, and its simply because people do not understand the decisions that have taken place that have gotten what I do into the position it's in. And to be fair, I might not have every 'i' dotted and every 't' crossed, but I'm pretty much damn close.
I don't understand how some people can be so narrow minded as to say that just because something isn't there in exactly the right pretty picture then they don't want to know, and do you know what? My crystal ball is obviously not working so I'M NOT A BLOODY MIND READER!!! Jesus!!
It has got to the point where i just decided I might as well write this weekend off and try and crack on with it. I'm fed up of having to sign back into work as soon as I get through the front door in the evening and not seeing munch. Its been making me feel like I'm a really shitty mother the last few weeks. I almost missed his parents evening the other day so I was sat there in the car crying on the way home.... I'd left work later than I originally wanted then there had been an accident which had closed one of the roads out of town which just made every where busy.
Luckily I made it before it finished, but it just made me feel so bad, like I'd let him down.... the same type of feeling I have at work at the moment
Oh well, today has at least finished on a plus side! After have clocked up about 20 hours this weekend I thought this had been a real waste of a child free weekend.... however The King has just left.... and he's left me with a big smile on my face - dink dink!
Hopefully see him tomorrow night too :0)
The last time was just after I got back from holiday, and that was the end of last month. I think I've blinked and missed September....
I think a lot of it has to do with work. Its gone from horrendous to worse than shit! When you get dragged into a two hour meeting with the CIO and basically get your ass chewed out for things that was not your fault or beyond your control.... and then when you TRY to defend and reason about the position you're now in, you get told to either shut up or be removed from the account with immediate effect.... well then you know its been a bad month!
And that was just one of a few meetings like that, and its simply because people do not understand the decisions that have taken place that have gotten what I do into the position it's in. And to be fair, I might not have every 'i' dotted and every 't' crossed, but I'm pretty much damn close.
I don't understand how some people can be so narrow minded as to say that just because something isn't there in exactly the right pretty picture then they don't want to know, and do you know what? My crystal ball is obviously not working so I'M NOT A BLOODY MIND READER!!! Jesus!!
It has got to the point where i just decided I might as well write this weekend off and try and crack on with it. I'm fed up of having to sign back into work as soon as I get through the front door in the evening and not seeing munch. Its been making me feel like I'm a really shitty mother the last few weeks. I almost missed his parents evening the other day so I was sat there in the car crying on the way home.... I'd left work later than I originally wanted then there had been an accident which had closed one of the roads out of town which just made every where busy.
Luckily I made it before it finished, but it just made me feel so bad, like I'd let him down.... the same type of feeling I have at work at the moment
Oh well, today has at least finished on a plus side! After have clocked up about 20 hours this weekend I thought this had been a real waste of a child free weekend.... however The King has just left.... and he's left me with a big smile on my face - dink dink!
Hopefully see him tomorrow night too :0)
Sunday, 2 September 2012
Reality Check
Well its nearly time to go back to reality I'm afraid as my week off draws to a close :0(
Its been a good week... Random drinking last weekend and getting my tattoo, last minute holiday to Brussels which was so much better than I was expecting, and finishing off with an engagement party and a trip to the zoo this weekend!
I'm still secretly chuffed with myself that I actually went through with the tattoo as I did wonder whether I would chicken out last minute when I remembered how much getting a tattoo bloody hurts! But maybe I'm stronger than I give myself credit for?
Brussels was great and we crammed so much in with the few days we had there, and as an added bonus I didn't get us lost at all, even braving the Metro! I think I managed to tire both me and munch out though with all the walking we did around the city, may need another holiday to get over it lol!
I didn't realise how many photo's I had taken while I was there though until I uploaded them last night... Think there was nearly 700 on my camera, plus the 70 or so on my phone... so glad we live in the digital age as there is no way i could have taken that many with the old fashioned rolls of film! There was just so much to take in... churches, buildings, architecture, statues, museums, beer, chocolate, waffles..... the list goes on! So much of it was quite breath taking at times, and as I said to the munch, you never know if you'll ever actually get to go back, so you want to do and see as much as you can while you're there!! Just wish my mind and heart didn't drift at times, but sometimes there are things you can't control, even if that's not what normal every day is like? I guess it goes to show though that what I've said all along still holds true?
Today's engagement party was good, if not a little strange to start with. It was like The Cricketers on a Saturday night, but in an alternate universe as it was the cricks crowd just in a different pub! We did joke about the Cricks takings probably being down tonight as everyone was here instead lol!
It was a little strange to start with at tonight's party I guess, as the Bear's other ex girlfriend was there, but it was fine as we was laughing and chatting together just like I do with everyone else... Munch even managed three put downs to her current bf that everyone loved as for once the cocky northerner actually had no comebacks to an 11 year old!
I guess its nights like tonight that some people don't get can happen, as people often get programmed to put people and situations into boxes.... My life and my situation does not fit nicely into a single box, but that's not a bad thing, as you can be surprised at what good things can come out of mixing those boxes up sometimes and letting one box flow into another one, often it can be a whole lot of fun and giggles, you just have to be brave and take that step!
Tomorrow is the zoo where I get to wear my fairy godmother wings. Hopefully this time munch won't end up throwing up in the flower pots though! Just hoping the weather stays dry as I don't want my fairy dust to wash off.... need to save some of that for the date with L!! :0)
Its been a good week... Random drinking last weekend and getting my tattoo, last minute holiday to Brussels which was so much better than I was expecting, and finishing off with an engagement party and a trip to the zoo this weekend!
I'm still secretly chuffed with myself that I actually went through with the tattoo as I did wonder whether I would chicken out last minute when I remembered how much getting a tattoo bloody hurts! But maybe I'm stronger than I give myself credit for?
Brussels was great and we crammed so much in with the few days we had there, and as an added bonus I didn't get us lost at all, even braving the Metro! I think I managed to tire both me and munch out though with all the walking we did around the city, may need another holiday to get over it lol!
I didn't realise how many photo's I had taken while I was there though until I uploaded them last night... Think there was nearly 700 on my camera, plus the 70 or so on my phone... so glad we live in the digital age as there is no way i could have taken that many with the old fashioned rolls of film! There was just so much to take in... churches, buildings, architecture, statues, museums, beer, chocolate, waffles..... the list goes on! So much of it was quite breath taking at times, and as I said to the munch, you never know if you'll ever actually get to go back, so you want to do and see as much as you can while you're there!! Just wish my mind and heart didn't drift at times, but sometimes there are things you can't control, even if that's not what normal every day is like? I guess it goes to show though that what I've said all along still holds true?
Today's engagement party was good, if not a little strange to start with. It was like The Cricketers on a Saturday night, but in an alternate universe as it was the cricks crowd just in a different pub! We did joke about the Cricks takings probably being down tonight as everyone was here instead lol!
It was a little strange to start with at tonight's party I guess, as the Bear's other ex girlfriend was there, but it was fine as we was laughing and chatting together just like I do with everyone else... Munch even managed three put downs to her current bf that everyone loved as for once the cocky northerner actually had no comebacks to an 11 year old!
I guess its nights like tonight that some people don't get can happen, as people often get programmed to put people and situations into boxes.... My life and my situation does not fit nicely into a single box, but that's not a bad thing, as you can be surprised at what good things can come out of mixing those boxes up sometimes and letting one box flow into another one, often it can be a whole lot of fun and giggles, you just have to be brave and take that step!
Tomorrow is the zoo where I get to wear my fairy godmother wings. Hopefully this time munch won't end up throwing up in the flower pots though! Just hoping the weather stays dry as I don't want my fairy dust to wash off.... need to save some of that for the date with L!! :0)
Saturday, 1 September 2012
Belgian beer
I've had a really great time here with munch, crammed so much in and it really is such a beautiful city! Just wish I hadn't missed a certain bear... It's strange as I'm doing fine without him but there are still times when I miss him too... At least I have L to distract me!
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