Well, this was a first for me.... I went and got an astrology reading done!
Not sure I believe in all that stuff about your future being dictated to by where the planets are when you are born, but at the same time you just need something to give you a little boost, and so I had one of those moments and did it.
To be fair to it, regardless of if you believe in it or not, it was an interesting read. And given the fact that i submitted all the details online so there was no body language being read, some bits where quite spookily accurate! Luck of the draw, too much reading between the lines or something to it who knows? Lets just say its something to keep in the back of my mind, but not let myself be ruled by it!
Think with all of it I have just been looking for a little bit of direction as at the moment I am trying to see where my life is going. The munchkin is growing up and in a few years he won't be wanting his mom around him (although I have threatened several times to turn up at the pub when he's out with his friends in a few years.... and be drunker than he is).
Work isn't really stretching me at the moment and I don't do boredom very well, so trying to find my mojo, but I am not ready to take a leap and just leave the job. There is a lot I do like about it, I'm aware that the grass isn't always greener elsewhere, plus the main reason is I have to be the responsible parent for a few more years yet.
All my friends are getting married and knocked up, so the social circles are changing too... Going out as a group now is almost a military operation where calendars are synchronised!
And yes there is a sense of loneliness... I know I best when I am one half of a couple, but I am not willing to settle for a make-do relationship! I've had a few chances to 'be' with someone but they weren't right.
There's still this one person though that I get that little rush when I see he has texted, or when i meet up with him he makes me just feel happy and relaxed to be around. I am not letting myself fall at the moment though as I don't know if he'd be there to catch me?
There is so much possibility there and it could be something great BUT I can't force anything and he has to feel the same way about me if it is ever to be more than friends, so as my friend keeps telling me I just have to go with the flow and be patient..... neither of which are my strong points!
I do think though that maybe I should master the damsel in distress act a little bit more, as being an independent female seems to work for my job, but not in my love life!!
Which is a shame because I think men are missing out.... Being with someone who isn't a wall flower keeps things interesting and you retain a spark as you don't become a single entity, and the fact that I can support myself means if I chose to be with you it is because I want to be, not because I have to be.... they become a choice, not just the best option going at that time?
